General Tips for Preventing Violence
- Understand and respect consent.
- Spread the word for violence prevention.
- Make a commitment not to have sexual relations when the other person is drunk, sleeping or unconscious.
- Know it’s YOUR RIGHT to say no and have your “no” be respected at any time.
- Practice safe sexting and never share images without your partner’s/friend’s approval.
Who Are You?
As a Partner
- Talk about sex! Listen to your partner, state your desires openly, clarify if you aren’t sure and accept you might not get what you want.
- If you are in an intimate situation, ask if whatever you are doing, or are about to do is okay. (This may sound strange at first but can be very fun, respectful and intimate).
- Pay attention to body language. If the body language is not saying a clear yes, stop whatever you’re doing.
As a Friend
- Be a friend. Designate a sober friend to keep an eye on alcohol intake and if you are acting in any way that could lead to you perpetrating violence.
- Don’t spike drinks—even if the intention isn’t to sexually assault someone things can go very wrong.
- Watch out for friends that seem overly drunk for the amount they’ve had.
- Use the buddy system and listen to that buddy’s advice especially if you are under the influence. If you are the sober person, speak up if you see a situation that could lead to an act of sexual violence whether your friend is the potential perpetrator or the potential victim.
- Phone a cab.
- Distract – find a way to distract attention to help the intended victim get away “Keisha here is that tampon you needed” or position yourself in between the aggressor and the victim on the bus
- Delegate – when it may feel unsafe to step in – tell someone – the transit driver, bar tender, swim coach – there is support with authority or in numbers.
- Direct – when safe to do so – tell the aggressor directly to stop the behaviour “Hey man, she asked you to stop touching her.” “What he is doing to you is wrong, would you like help”
- Delay – when you have that moment to ask the victim if they are alright – “I have noticed her all over you and you pulling away, you don’t look comfortable, are you alright? Is there someone I can call for you? Would you like to leave – I can walk you out”
*Retrieved from www.uleth.ca/sexual-violence-information